On how I have hardly any money but I'm excited for the future still

I told Max the amount of money I had yesterday, and although it wasn't scads, it was at least a good buffer. I realized today that I forgot about the 600 dollars of credit card debt that I have. I also forgot about how interest accrues when you don't pay the full amount that you owe every month . And then I remembered about all the student loans that I've been forgetting about.

How am I going to plan a wedding like this?!

Why don't I have a job yet??? I've had so many good interviews and good leads! I was asked to take a drug test, which is a really good sign, but I haven't heard anything! I had a second interview scheduled at Paint A Dream but it was rescheduled for a later time, and I could print out more applications if my computer which is hooked up to the printer had an internet connection! Then I had to spend more money on the ethernet cable!

For the first time, I really really need a job. Not for fun money, but because I have rent, and bills, and a bunch of crap to pay for. And also for the first time, I want a job. I want to work hard, and save up for my future family and life situation. I want to be self-reliant, and not depend on my hubby to bring home all the bacon on his own. I'm really good at managing money, it just hasn't been something I've had to worry about for almost a year because I've had student loan money coming in.

I'm really excited about the opportunities that may come with marriage though. I haven't had a terrible time getting financial aid, it's just been difficult getting the needed information from my parents. Also, I only have one year of experience at a 4-year where financial aid was really important. Nevertheless, I am very excited to have only mine and Max's incomes to report. He will definitely be helped out by a marriage, he doesn't qualify for any financial aid right now. And there are scholarships and grants specifically for married students in college (so I've heard).

Let's turn this into a positive. I have limited funds for now, until I get a job. I do have a paycheck to put in the bank, and a security deposit on the way. I will pay off my credit card and be clean and free from that. And then everything I make will be spent carefully and budgeted towards home and marriage. And then I will ride Max's tail on his purchases, and make sure he doesn't buy silly 200 dollar things because they make "good investments".

H.B.