Regarding the Summer Solstice!

I am sitting in my new apartment. I say that half-heartedly, because right now I don't live here. I helped Max move in to Summer Meadows, which originally I was going to move into as well right when he moved in, because we were supposed  to be married by now. Instead, we aren't even engaged. More on that later.

It's kind of disheartening actually, because I'm here in this gorgeous place with the man I love, and I can't live here due to some moral obligations that have already been broken, so really it comes down to the facade of moral obligations. And that's just a ridiculous thing to stand in the way of me being here starting my life. However, being engaged might help a great deal. Being engaged would yield a wedding date, and that would yield a specific time to be in exile instead of "living in sin" indefinitely. But again, the whole thing is stupid.

My favorite quote in The Great Gatsby (which was left out of the movie!) is when Daisy Buchanan says, "In two weeks it'll be the longest day in the year. Do you always watch for the longest day of the year and then miss it? I always watch for the longest day in the year and then miss it."It's always been one of my favorite quotes. I love the solstices and equinoxes. When I was little, summer was just when school ended, and winter was Christmas. But there is order to the year, there is a definite period of 3 months for each season, and one day longer than any other, which is the beginning of summer.

Apparently this year the solstice was a little bit different. The summer solstice started at around 1am on June 21st on the East Coast, but because I am on the West Coast, the summer solstice here actually started around 10pm last night on the 20th. So when I googled the summer solstice after hearing about it on the radio, I thought I had missed it, like Daisy always does. However, it still technically ends today. And that's good news for me, because yesterday was spent entirely on moving and cleaning, not very summery.

But today, Max is playing a show at a coffee shop, and then he has agreed to go in the jacuzzi with me afterwards in the apartment's jacuzzi, which is right next to our apartment! And then maybe watch 500 Days of Summer? And tomorrow, we're headed to Long Beach to pick up the rest of my furniture, but maybe I can convince him to get some ice cream somewhere since we'll be in a beach town.

And with all the dreams I've had about being proposed to, I swear, I'd better be engaged before I leave Riverside on Sunday. I had a dream that I turned down Neil Patrick Harris' marriage proposal because I loved Max. I mean, come on. Even in my dreams I picked Max. So he'd better do something about it, or Neil is getting a second chance.

-H.B.