Regarding Sundays and the like

Growing up, I think I got a really bad impression of what "keeping the Sabbath day Holy" meant, and because of it I started to hate Sunday because it was boring. I felt like the only things I was allowed to do were go to church, read scriptures, watch conference, and sit quietly. And then I grew up, and realized that all these members of my same church spent time with their friends, went to the beach to have picnics, and genuinely enjoyed the Sabbath.

I guess it was because of my family, which has greatly influenced the way I feel about the gospel, and the decisions that I have made in my life. My Mother was always very active, and my Father was not active, and not a good person at all. He was not the example of the Priesthood that my Mother expected him to be. I didn't really have an opinion, I had nothing to compare him to, other than the fact that other kids I went to church with were happy and loved their families, and I didn't.

Dealing with that dichotomy of interests, I ended up this way. I have a strong and unshakeable testimony that the gospel is true, and I am willfully disobeying it. I guess I really did turn out like my Father. And in a lot of ways, that's so much harder to deal with than being inactive because you don't believe in the church or care about it. I've basically lived torturing myself for years. 

And my prime example would be Max. I don't believe in only dating members of the church, because I've never had any good experiences with them, and we just aren't compatible. I've often felt that I am too Mormon for non-Mormons, but too "rebellious" for the Mormons. And my soulmate was found in the form of a non-member who had my same moral values, but no strong religious beliefs. And then he joined the church. And honestly, what could I expect from the way that I am but to turn him off to it and become inactive myself?

I talked about this a couple weeks ago, that I have so much faith in him that he, and I, will both get there. At the beginning of the year he didn't want to get married until he finished school, and yet after one night of talking about it he changed his mind. God has worked wonders in that man, and I know that He will work so many more. I've felt it so many times, and I've seen it in his change of heart towards the church, and now towards marriage while he's still in school. Last year he couldn't even date me because school was too demanding.

But regardless of what my previous opinions are about Sunday, I have always viewed them as a new start. If I've failed my goals, or done things that I've felt bad about, Sunday always comes with another chance to live one week clean and good. And that's definitely something that I want to start in my new home with Max. I want to make goals for the week, for us personally, career/ school wise, spiritually and as a couple.

So, my goals for this week:

Personal: Go through my school stuff from the past year and assemble it nicely. Also catch up on my journal.

Work: Learn about small animal care before going into work on Tuesday, so I at least know basic care facts for the animals I'm in charge of.

Financial: Don't spend money on anything unnecessary, sell a textbook, pay tithing.

Spiritually: Read scriptures and pray everyday.

Physical: Exercise with the cardio videos everyday this week, and go on a few walks. Eat more vegetables, and drink water.

With Max: Don't bug him about getting engaged.

I think they're pretty reasonable. :)

H.B.